Fitting In (Or Maybe Not)

     Do you ever get the feeling that you just don't really fit in? That even between school, church, work, etc., you still haven't found the people who are a lot like you? This is the state I've lived in for pretty much the past 18 years.
     I went to the same school for fourteen years, and I never really found my niche.  I never found people who were as motivated as I, who shared the same common interests and passions. I found very few people who took their faith as seriously as I did. Did I have people that I hung out with? Yeah. But I never really connected with the group as much as the other people connected with each other. I never really hung out with them outside of school; we don't really keep in touch. High school just wasn't where I fit in.
     Then there was church. Actually, this past year, I had two different church families.  I've been at Bethel since the 4th or 5th grade, and up until this past year, everything was fine. After my best friend, Madi, headed off to college, though, there weren't many people my age who I shared anything in common with. Madi was kind of the glue that held our little group together. Once she left, I felt lonelier than ever, so I tried to find a different youth group. I started going to Alice Drive. And honestly, I enjoyed the change of pace this year. I met some awesome people, but still, there was no one that I became really close with. It was really hard being the new senior in the youth group where almost everyone had gone to church together forever. Everyone was so close and honestly a little cliquey. They just all had so many memories together, and I often felt out of place.
     As one might imagine, being in a high school of several hundred and being an active part of two youth groups and STILL not being able to find where I fit in has been discouraging at times. There have been times when I've felt lonely, discouraged, rejected, defeated, and there have been many times when I've asked myself, "What's wrong with me??"  And my trying to fit in isn't helped at all by the fact that I'm introverted and a little shy. Sometimes, it's really hard for me to put myself out there no matter how badly I would like to.
     This is why I'm looking so forward to attending Furman in the fall. I'm hoping (and praying!) to find people more like me there. And I'm so encouraged by what I've already seen and experienced of Furman and college in general. I feel like for the most part, the students at Furman are just like me. They're motivated, ambitious, and care about their grades. I mean, you really have to be to cut it at Furman! There are so many different clubs and organizations that I have no doubt that I will be able to find people who share my interests and more importantly, my convictions. I've heard so much about how much diversity there is at college, how there are people from all different areas, backgrounds, races, religions, etc. And this excites me so much because I know that in the several thousand students on campus, I am sure to find a group (or several) where I feel like I belong. So, I will wait (maybe not so) patiently for the next three months to go by and look forward to all of the wonderful things (and people!) that await me at FU!