Turn It Up, New York! Day 1

     So far, this missions trip has been nothing like I expected. This is my first one, and I guess that even though everyone warned me, I didn't expect to have to be so...flexible. The pace is so "go with the flow," and I'm just more of a structured-type person. 

     But honestly, it's been great so far, and I can tell that it's going to be a great week! The children are absolutely precious. I had the chance to talk with some of the little kids this morning before VBS started. And I am helping out with the 8-9 year olds all this week. It's a little bit older than what I would have thought I'd feel comfortable with. But honestly, the kids are great! I love working with the age I'm working with, and I'm already bonding with a lot of them. 

     I do have a few prayer requests for those of you reading this, though. First, please pray for the kids we are ministering to this week, that they would be touched this week, and that God would use us where He sees fit. Second, please pray for some of the kids that we have a harder time controlling. There was one boy in my class today who wouldn't listen to anyone, and it frustrates me a little bit. I want to be able to discipline him while still pouring out God's love to him, and sometimes that's a hard balance. And lastly, please pray for patience, endurance, and strength for us all. 5 hours of VBS is a really long time, and by the end, we are worn out and the kids are buck-wild! And sometimes it requires a lot of God's help to not be grumpy and to show enthusiasm after being on our feet for so many hours. 

     But overall, I had a really great day! Children are where my heart lies, and I'm praying that God will show me how to best minister to them this week. I'm also praying that He'll show me what kinds of missions He may want me to do in the future, especially with kids. I thank God for a great day and for a chance to get off my feet for a while and get a good night's rest! I'm exhausted, but I'm already excited for tomorrow and the ways in which God will use us to show the love of Christ to these kids! 

Life's Disappointments

     If this year has been good for one thing, it's been good for teaching me about disappointments. I've faced a lot of major disappointments this year. The thing is, you learn how to deal with them, but they never truly get easier. 

     I decided to take a chance and try out for the lead role in the play this year. I didn't get it. I applied to be in a science program at Furman. I had an interview on campus, got my hopes up...and still didn't get it. I can't count the number of scholarships I've been rejected for this year, including all of the major ones at Furman. I took 15 credit hours of dual-enrollment, and I won't be getting any college

credit for those. 

     Most recently, I applied to be a Freshman blogger at Furman. I've always liked to write, but I'd never written a blog until I decided to apply. I've kept up with the freshman blogs for several years and have always found them very helpful. I wanted to be able to help high schoolers trying to decide whether Furman is the right place for them and to give incoming freshman some tips that I learn along the way. Unfortunately, I found out this weekend that I wasn't chosen for this position either. 

     Thankfully, I have been able to find silver linings in my disappointments, especially this one. I have discovered a new passion of mine--blogging!! I find it so therapeutic. If I ever have something on my mind, I can write about it and express my emotions. I can also share it with others so that they can share in my experiences and hopefully learn a few lessons. Also, I am a really sentimental person. I have a hard time throwing anything away because I like to keep things for memories and keepsakes. Blogging is an excellent way for me to preserve something very precious to me--my emotions. I find that my best writings come when I write about something that is still fresh on my mind and close to my heart. 

     While I am still learning to deal with disappointments, I will continue to look for the silver linings. Life's most painful situations are often when we learn the greatest lessons and the most about ourselves. And most importantly, I have to remember that no matter what happens, God always has my best interests in mind.

Inspiration from Faeries

     As people in today's culture, it's really hard to see past what's on the outside of people. We are taught by the media that physical beauty, strength, and fashion are everything. It's hard not to obsess over the way we look or be automatically attracted to people whose physical appearance we find appealing. My family has always taught me that what's on the inside matters more, but in today's society, that's a hard truth to hold onto. However, I found a reminder of this in an unlikely place-The Mortal Instruments series.
      In The Mortal Instruments series, there is something called "glamour." It helps disguise magical objects and people so that ordinary humans don't recognize them for what they are. It can be used to make a dilapidated
building appear beautiful or vice versa. It can also be used on humans and mythical creatures.
      Faeries in this series are not like the ones we normally think about. They are not at all like Tinker Bell! They are part angel, part demon, so they are very deceiving and tricky. When the main characters of the book make a trip to faerie territory, Clary (the main character) sees some of the faeries dancing. At first, they appear beautiful and very appealing to her. However, when she looks closer she sees how deceitful their beauty is and how ugly they really are. The glamor made them appear to be something they were not.
     This is often the situation in everyday life. People have a good way of putting on a front for others and letting them see only the parts they want others to see. Also, many times, a beautiful outside can temporarily cover up unattractive qualities inside. This is why it is so important to not "judge a book by its cover," so to speak. It's much more important to make sure that you get to know someone for who they truly are rather than what's merely on the surface. More importantly, this should encourage us all to strive to be beautiful on the inside. Beauty is fleeting, but the core of who a person truly is does not fade with time and is not changed by cheap deceptions on the outside.

A (Belated) Lunch Date

I am really bad about writing blogs on my phone and then forgetting to publish them! This one I wrote almost two weeks ago. It is short and to the point, but it means a lot to me and I felt that it was still important for me to publish it.


     Today, my cousin and I decided to take my grandma out to eat for lunch. My grandpa has dementia, so sometimes my grandma really needs a break from taking care of him. Plus, we just wanted to spend some quality girl time with her.
      I enjoy every precious minute I get to spend with my grandma (Ema, as I call her). She is one of the strongest, most Godly women I know. We enjoy talking about cooking, Facebook, The Bachelorette, milkshakes, and our relationship with God. I love her with all of my heart and will miss living five minutes from her next year.

Summer Scholars

     January or February of my junior year, I received a letter in the mail from Furman. I'd gotten mail from them before, but I'd never been so excited to get something from them as I was when I got this letter! It was a letter telling me all about the Summer Scholars program at Furman. I could stay for either one or two weeks on campus and take classes led by Furman professors. Do you think I signed up? Heck yeah I did! Within an hour or two of opening the mail, in fact.
      I've known since eighth grade that I wanted to go to Furman. So when I received the letter about Summer Scholars, I saw it as a great chance to spend some time on campus and see how I liked being away from home for a few weeks. Also, it gave me a great chance to interact with some of Furman's faculty and to meet other people who were interested in going to Furman, too.
      Six months later when it came time to head to Furman, I didn't know what to expect. I was beyond excited, but I was nervous, too. Would I have a good roomie? Would I make friends? What if I didn't like Furman as much after my visit? Then what?
      What I got was two of the best weeks of my life! The first week I took a class called Live Well where I learned about nutrition and fitness. Dr. Frazier, my professor, was amazing! She had so much to teach us and even invited us to her house at the end of the week to cook healthy foods and to have lunch.
      The second week, I took a class for students interested in going into the medical field. It was awesome as well! It was led by Dr. Banisaukas and Mrs. Ybarra who help guide Pre-med students at Furman. We learned so much during the week, but the highlight was our visit to the newly built Greenville Medical School. We got a tour and saw all of their nice facilities, but even more exciting, we got to dissect a cadaver knee! One of the doctors from the hospital showed us how to use the laparoscopic equipment and then he let us operate the tools ourselves!
      Besides the two awesome classes I took, I made friends that I will always cherish. My roommate, Maggie, was from Kalamazoo, Michigan. We got along so well together and stayed up late almost every night chatting. I met lots of other people, but my main friends were the other two-weekers. We spent a lot of time together, especially over the weekend between the two sessions, and we got really close. The cool thing is that a lot of the people I met are coming to Furman this fall, so I already have friends on campus.
      I also made friends with the camp counselors. Each class had a counselor or two to lead us around, and they hung out with us during the week(s). All of the counselors were either current or recently graduated Furman students, so I'm sure I will see some of them around campus in the fall.
      Summer Scholars was a great experience for me. I made friends, learned about Furman and Greenville, and made connections with Furman's faculty. To give you an idea of the environment at Furman, I saw all three of the faculty I had met last summer at orientation this summer, and they all remembered me. It's true that Furman is like a family, and as I reminisce about my past fond memories at Furman, I look forward to being a part of Furman this fall and making lots more memories!

Reader at Heart

     I'm a reader at heart. Most of the time, I don't have time to read during the school year, so when summer rolls around, I try to find a good book or two to read.
      To me, it's a great feeling when I start a fantastic book and can't put it down, and that's what happened to me this past week. Normally, I start reading a series when the movie comes out. I did that with Harry Potter, Twilight, The Hunger Games. So when I heard the first movie in The Mortal Instruments series was coming out, I made a mental note to read the first book. My mom has the whole series in her classroom at school, so I asked her to bring the first one home for me when she went to work the other day.
      I started it Wednesday afternoon and finished it tonight. Honestly, it is one of the best books I've ever read! I'll see if I still feel the same way after I finish reading all five books, but for right now, it's my second favorite series behind the Harry Potter series (which will undoubtedly always be my all time favorite.)
      I mean, I loved the Twilight books when I read them. And The Hunger Games. But there's just something different about The Mortal Instruments. It's completely different from any series I've read recently. I just love reading about the magic and other dimensions and the Shadowhunters. It was so full of action and suspense that every time I put it down, I couldn't stop thinking about what would happen next.
      My mom and I are going to set up a few things in her new office tomorrow, so I will grab the next few books in the series while I'm there. I guess I know what I'll be spending the next few days (or maybe weeks) doing. There is just something so enthralling about reading about fantastic events and letting the book take you to another world. As a wise person once said, "I am a reader not because I don't have a life but because I choose to have many."

 

What I Meant Was...

     Sometimes we pray things to God that we don't mean. Like, "Please let this work out only if it's in your will." Or, "I know you know what's best for me, so I'm trusting You with the situation." But then when things don't go our way, we ask God, "Why?" Because what we wanted wasn't what was in God's will. We wanted what WE wanted, and we wanted things to work out exactly when we wanted them to.
      But that's now how God works. When we are close to Him, He takes our desires and puts them in line with His. But sometimes we are still stubborn and think we know what's best for us. Good thing God always has our best interests in mind.

A Sad Anniversary

     On December 28, 1929, a baby girl was born in Chesterfield, South Carolina, who would grow up to be a great woman. She would be a great influence not only on the lives of her family but also on the lives of everyone she met. Two years ago today, I lost this special woman from my life. This woman was my grandma, and not a day goes by that I don't think about her and miss her terribly.
     My earliest memories of my grandma are of when I would go to her and my grandpa's house every Friday night while my parents had a date night. My grandma would always pick up some kind of game or toy from the store before I came for me to play with, and I would play with her and Grandpa until my parents came to pick me up. What I wouldn't give to be able to go back and relive just one of those precious nights with them!
     I have lots of other memories of my grandma, too. Like how she always loved to dress up and would always wear bright red lipstick. If you got a kiss from Grandma, everyone knew it! She loved jewelry and pocketbooks and shoes and all things girly. She was also my source of income for a while as she would give me a weekly allowance and would not take no for an answer!
     More importantly than the outward things, though, she was a great person on the inside. She was kind and cared for everyone she came in contact with. One family friend told us after my grandma's death that my grandma had meant so much to her because my grandma had been kind to her when no one else was.
     I visited all four of my grandparents almost every Sunday afternoon and still visit the other three regularly. The afternoon visits are some of the most precious memories I have of my grandma. It's these ordinary, everyday moments that we think nothing of at the moment that we cherish when someone we love is gone.
     My grandma stayed in pretty good health until right before my eighth grade year when she fell and broke her hip. She was wheel-chair bound after that and relied heavily on the family to take care of her. That was one of the things that her sickness showed me--how important family is. Whenever she or my grandpa would need something, there was always someone there to help. My family is super close like that.
     In June 2011 while I was at church camp, my mom called me one night to let me know that they had taken Grandma to the hospital. I really didn't think anything about it at the time. She had been in the hospital before, and I just asked my friends to pray for her. When I returned home from camp and as June continued, it became clear that she wasn't going to get any better. My dad and his brothers, sister, in-laws, nieces, and family friends all took turns staying at the hospital around the clock to make sure she wasn't alone. She suffered for a month before she finally went home to be with Jesus. My dad spent the night with her, and early on the morning of July 5, 2011, Dad called to tell my mom and me that things had taken a turn for the worst. We, along with the rest of the family, headed to the hospital, and within a few hours, Grandma passed away.
      My grandma was an inspiration her whole life and continued to inspire me even in her death. She taught school for many, many years, and at the visitation and funeral, so many of her former students showed up to give their condolences and pay their respects. They all talked about what a difference my grandma had made on their lives and how sorely they were going to miss her. It showed me that life isn't worth living unless you are making a difference in others' lives. What good is it to live your whole life and not touch a single person along the way?
     My grandma was truly a wonderful person, and my family and I miss her every single day. She was sweet, kind, funny, and continues to be an inspiration to those whose lives she touched along the way. It's impossible to put all of my feelings for and memories of my grandma into words, but I cherish the time I was blessed to be able to spend with her and look forward to the day that I will see her again in Heaven.